10 rules for dating a musician

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And how you are now a witness to our weird, dysfunctional-family dynamic. I mean, if you’re gonna show up with a crane and a ladder and you're strong enough to carry an Ampeg 8x10 bass cabinet over one shoulder, you’re definitely invited. On top of that, we’re worried about you and how bored you are.It is important that you do not act like a dick about this and that you are extra-awesome to me after shows. I'm super-loyal and eerily dependable, but if I need to rehearse or record or do a photo session in an abandoned saloon somewhere, that's going to be more important than watching and honestly I'm not sure I ever will. This way, I'll still talk to other people, but mentally I'm like, 2. Do not get jealous when your boyfriend talks to groupies. Babies don’t make men quit bands….especially if you were a groupie. No, the band does not want you to go on tour with them. ***It’s NOT mandatory that you are at every show.*** 5.

You will always, unreservedly and unashamedly come second. He'll have more intense relationships with his bandmates than he'll ever have with you. Heck, if we didn't need to be at work at nine, we'd also be tempted to sip rioja in the kitchen at 2am on a Tuesday night, chewing the cud over whether Jeff Buckley's finest hour was prophetic in the wake of his unexpected demise. You don't get his Talking Heads circa reference but you laugh anyway and hope it slips under the radar. He can't fathom why you paid £50 to see Alt-J when he could have made a call and got you backstage. To the average musician, going abroad is for tours only and 'holidays' consist of watching old movies or meeting his friends in artisan coffee shops or dinge-bars. If you don't want to be sat alone at an hour's notice for the fourth time this week, eating ice cream and crying while you watch Ian Beale crying on Eastenders, get yourself a back-up plan.

There might be days when the only time we talk is when I call you at 2 a.m.

Also your shoes will always be sticky now and I do not have a solution. They will go on tour and boom — now they are invisible. OK, I just need to say in all the caps in the world: This.

He, however, has lived the life less ordinary forever and as such cannot fathom the prospect of being enchained in the corporate routine of work/sleep/death.

The key here is that even Chris Martin (who really ought to know better) allowed this "burden" to take precedence over simply getting over himself. If like me, you had visions of yourself hanging out backstage like Kate Moss, all red lipstick and Ray-Bans, fag in hand, well… Instead, you are quite literally the embodiment of "great…his bird's here", as his bandmates lament his imagined descent from iconoclastic pioneer to watered down beacon of Brita–filtered domesticity. On the other hand, when you're not in the building, any hopeful female admirers will have dissipated long before the band emerges at 1am arguing about van space and who isn't pulling their weight.

And it’s normal to have practice more than once a week. Do not assume everyone loves your boyfriend’s band. Don’t make out with other band members girlfriends at the bar. The shirt is fine, but must you break out the hat, the hoodie, AND the stickers on your ass? No rumpshaka dances during the show, that is unless your man is in 2 Live Crew. Do not change your style based on the type of band you date. Never cause a fight right before your man goes on stage. Don’t buy your man a new intrument so he and his band mates can match.

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